Meet Seattle’s Worst Columnist (Circa 2010)

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My day has started the same way every morning since I was 10 or 11-years-old. I roll out of bed, grab the newspaper, and don’t talk to anyone until I’m done reading it. There are fewer and fewer of us grasping the physical paper, but I won’t stop until it’s no longer available. I love my morning paper. That is, except for one Seattle Times columnist.

Steve Kelley, pompous douche

Steve Kelley deals in histrionics and contrived controversy. His column in today’s paper is just the latest example of writing with absolutely no analytical value. Kelley is a controversy leech. He waits for a fan base to reach a dull roar, and then does his best to shoulder up next to the mob and incite them further. It’s a transparent attempt to be the voice of the people.

His recent column taps into the fear and frustration of Seahawks fans regarding the flurry of roster moves they have made in the last week. The premise is fine, but the arguments made about why these moves were ham-handed make Kelley look more foolish than Pete Carroll or John Schneider. Read the core of his accusations:

On the brink of the season opener, a seriously important home game for the Seahawks against division rival and NFC West favorite San Francisco, the Hawks have been remaking the roster as if they had all the time in the world, not four days, to prepare.

Shouldn’t all of these machinations have taken place in April or May or June? Didn’t they know by the start of training camp which Seahawks could play and which couldn’t?

Shouldn’t the Hawks have known in July how dire their situations were on the offensive and defensive lines and in the secondary? Isn’t it a little too late to be retooling this team this radically? 

My favorite was the idea that Carroll and Schneider should have known by the *start* of training camp which Seahawks could/couldn’t play. What the hell is training camp for, if not to evaluate your talent? It is precisely because Schneider and Carroll *did* identify these shortcomings early in camp that they were prepared to pounce on any players that might become available on cut-down day to improve the team. There is absolutely no reason to make personnel moves, besides trades, prior to cut-downs. The idea that it is ever “too late” to improve your team is asinine. What’s worse is I think Kelley knows this. He just threw out some weak questions to give himself permission to create a toothless satire in the locker room. If you are going to take a shot at the team, at least make it a good one.

This is nothing new for Kelley. A few years back, he invented a controversy over a harmless bet KJR’s Mitch Levy made with the Storm’s Sue Bird. Kelley pulled in a state politician to say that Levy’s bet was sexist and wrong. Bird soon backed out of the bet, and Kelley slithered his way down the road looking for his next faux-controversy. I recommend reading everyone, even folks you don’t like or disagree with. Beware, though, Seattle of Steve Kelley and his muckraking.